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Your wishes may be preparing you for your frustration. Your
longings may become schemes for your own discontent. They are too “long”-
beyond your reach or beyond reality.
THE WISH
Life without illusions would be unbearable! Yet illusions create
terrible anxieties. We simply cannot live without them-imagined events that
repair a disappointing world. And we never completely forsake the wish that
discontent will stay out of our path forever. The matter of fact is that wishes
repair the unwished for, but they do not remove it.
THE TRUTH AND REALITY.
We live a lie. We fool ourselves, wishing that either
someone would sweep us off our lonely feet or something would bring us a streak
of luck or the bluebird of happiness. Our lies are many: if we had more time,
or more money or another chance! We
would be satisfied. If only others would love us, if only others would change,
if only others will take care of us, then we would know pleasure. If only fate, the stars, destiny, an angel,
a lover, an oracle, or some tea leaves will tilt in our favor, then we would be
on top of the world.
We are lied to: promised miracles, false assurances, and distorted
claims. We are told that we can become financially secure through five steps,
happy within 90 days, and winners three times over. But the grand solution is
the Big lie. We simply want to be told what we want to hear.
We all believe in magic. In our upbringing we were taught
that wishing could make things come true. Our guardians trained us in magical
thinking. It was there in their stories, in their promised ”surprises ”
if we behaved, taboos and lucky charms, name more if you have. When we
get older we carry these to our adult life.
LOOSENING THE GRIP.
Our lies in the form of wishes and illusions, protect us for
a time and up to a point. We need “urgent lies” in order to escape the onslaught
of reality; we need the hopeful picture when we are up to our necks in thorns.
Making a wish is making life as pleasurable as possible.
The difficult with the mental shed of wishes always is
giving them up. Using wishful thinking to control the forces and event of life, we may find that they begin to
control us. We wish to be more content(happier) instead of choosing to be. We
fall into the arms of
“if only”:
If only this would happen……..
Or we embrace the “Whens”
When I get out of this situation…….
Or we cling to the “what - ifs”
What if this changed…..
We deal with our problems in seventh heaven, not where we
are!
The grip of wishful thinking prevents us from grappling with
our experience. But strength comes from the struggle, from the school of
reality. If we are conditioned to wishes and fantasies, we never discover
courage. And we cannot live our best lives telling lies and accepting the lies
we are told. Liars are the least courageous people. I end up here by saying
loosening the grip of wishful thinking which I mean accepting reality however
new and terrifying it is will make your hopes smaller but not kill them, nonetheless
you will grow courageuos.
Tags
Personal Development